Got lazy

I got lazy and never reviewed a few movies, so I will give a quick rundown.

Captain America- I enjoyed it. Might have been my favorite super hero movie of the summer. More of a review once it comes out on video.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes- Love it. the CG apes were awesome. The acting was awesome, but the guys doing the apes . James Franco was whatever. He did not really bring anything to the roll for me. More when it is out on video.

I do not believe I saw anything else in the theaters, besides The Thing, which will get its own post.

Now on to videos. The problem with this is going to be, I really don't remember what I have seen. I will do my best between my reviews of stuff on Netflix, and new entries to my spreadsheet of movies that I own. (Don't judge me) I will keep these short since I am already sick of this.

Dogville- Long. Kinda boring. Cool idea, but still boring. It if was a "real movie" and not a play like movie, I think I would have liked it more. The end is unforgettable

Pet Cemetery- Standard '80s horror movie based on Stephen King novel. Meh. Cool that the dude that played Herman Munster was in it. The kid in it is creepy, but he is creepy in everything I have seen him in. He probably would be a good actor now, but who knows.

I Love you Phillip Morris - Fun. Jim Carrey, Ewan McGregor. They are good actors. Messed up that it is based on a true story.

Excalibur - I am not going to lie. I only watched the movie because I thought maybe I would get to see Helen Mirren's breasts. You kinda do. It is not a bad movie. I feel like doing a good fantasy movie is rough. It is hard not to look goofy in the costumes.

Hawk the Slayer: Bad, but I knew that.

Ong-bak: The Thai Warrior - Fun, martial arts movie. There are two sequels, I want to watch them.

Sharktopus- Stupid, but I knew that. Eric Roberts is in it. Whatever that means. He only plays himself in movies I feel like.

Rubber- Dumb. It is a about a tire. Thought it could be fun. Not cool.

American Grindhouse - A document about the American Grindhouses and the films are filled them. It was cool, because I like those kind of films. Gratuitous.

Scream 3 - Wes Craven at is Best? The Scream movies are fun.

Arthur - I fell asleep. Kinda boring. Dudley Moore's drunk voice is annoying.

Horrible Bosses - This is a fun movie. Colin Farrell is an asshole in the movie. Jennifer Aniston is a fox.

If I missed anything else, at this point I don't care.

Forgot about this

I forgot about this Guy. Seeing the changes made to Blogger reminded me about it.  I haven't really seen to many new movies because nothing that interesting came out. I will probably review something this weekend.

Sucker Punch

Suck Punch was one of those movies that sounded awesome, looked awesome, and I was excited for. Then it came out, I heard the reviews, and it scared me away from the theater. It has since been release on Blu ray and DVD, with an extended edition and you guys know how I am a sucker for Blu ray/DVDs.

Zack Snyder wrote, directed and produced this movie. He is of Dawn of the Dead remake, 300 and The Watchmen fame. He is also going to direct the new Superman movie called Man of Steel. So I like his body of work. The movie is about a girl, who we never learn her real name, matter of fact we don't learn anyone's real name, who accidently kills her little sister while trying to fend off her abusive step father. She then gets sent to an insane asylum, and is going to be lobotomized in 3 days, or 5 days, don't really remember. Then the rest of the movie is spent in this fantasy world that she creates to deal with the horrors of this place. The fantasy world isn't much better, because it is a brothel. They dance for 'clients' and then 'service' them. Which all the clients are actually orderlies, and service just means rape. So the movie itself sounds fucked up, but because it is this fantasy world, unless you really are paying attention you will have no idea. Everyone has a cutesy name like Baby Doll, or Rocket, or Blondie. Jon Hamm plays the 'High Roller' the man who in 3 days is going to take Baby Dolls virginity, aka he is the doctor that is going to come and lobotomize her. In order to escape they need to find 5 items, and each quest to find the item is some new fantastical adventure; shadow ninjas, Ogres and Dragons, Zombie Nazis, etc.

The effects were cool, the costumes were small, and there was a bunch of action. Didn't really care about the characters, but it looked cool. Might have used way too much CGI, but how else do you make movies like this?

4 out of 5

Captain America: The First Avenger

The last big comic book movie of the Summer. Not the one I had the most invested in, (cough cough Green Lantern), but it definitely had promise. Chris Evans plays Steve Rogers, a man not physically fit to be in the army, but determined to be there just the same. Rogers lies and tries to get enlisted, saying he is from a different town every time. Stanley Tucci plays Dr. Abraham Erskine, a scientist with a special project, who Rogers is just the person to full it.

Colonel Chester Philips, played by Tommy Lee Jones, needs to set up an army of super soldiers to combat the evil Hydra, a section of the Nazi army that specialists in magic. Led by Johann Schmidt, Hugo Weaving, they are looking for ancient relics to power a super army, to conquer the World. Hydra agents sabotage the experiment, and Rogers ends up being the only super solider. Rogers must go after Hydra to stop them before they blow up major US cities.

Seeing Tony Stark's father, Howard Stark, in a pretty major role was fun. Hopefully in The Avengers movie they will play something with that. Steve- "I knew your father Tony. You are nothing like him." Something like that, something with some teeth. That would be fun. Seeing Bucky Barnes was fun. As was seeing Dr. Zola, and Dum Dum Dugan. I hope we see more of Bucky. The movie sets us right up for The Avengers. They literally could start right where this movie ended. Stay for after the credits for a sneak peek at The Avengers, (or just look for the trailer online, it is there now).

I enjoyed the movie. It was fun. There was comedy, there was action. I only got misty eyed once, and that was more to do with the period of which the movie took place, and less about the characters. Costumes were cool. The effects that they do to Weaving's character are spot on, exactly how I imagine his character to look.

During the movie, you see a USO show. Girls singing and dancing for the troops. I leaned over to Jessica and said, "Did they have breast implants in the '40s?" Trying to be funny. Without missing a beat she says, "Duh, Stark Industries." Too funny.

4 out of 5

Take Me Home Tonight

This  comedy was something that I watched on DVD.It was one of those impulse buys at Walmart that happen so frequently when I go shopping by myself.

The movie has Topher Grace, Dan Fogler, and Anna Ferris in it. Funny people so I was excited. Also, it is set in the '80s which were kinda goofy. The trailers made it look fun, so I had hopes for this movie. That being said it was not a bad movie, it just wasn't as fun as I thought it was.

Topher Grace plays a character named Matt Franklin, who has just graduated from MIT and is now working at a video store. Everyone he went to high school with is back in town, coming home from college. Matt and his friend Barry Nathan (Fogler) find out about a party where Matt's high school crush is going to be at. She was popular, he was not. Matt needs to over come his fear of asking this girl out, and with his live.

Dan Fogler has some funny parts. Not that funny of a movie. It was alright

2 out of 5

Hobo with a Shotgun

Rutger Hauer stars in the title role as Hobo in Hobo with a Shotgun. Hobo roles into a town called Hope town, whose sign has been spray painted to say "Scum Town", in hopes of starting a new life. The town is full of degenerates  Crooked Cops, hookers, thieves, and the town is run by corrupt mob boss, The Drake. Drake has two stupid, yet comically evil sons, Ivan and Slick. The three of the go around town, doing whatever they want. They instill fear in the town, so no one stands up to them, and that becomes a free ticket to every other scumbag in the town. Hobo just wants to get enough money so he can buy a second hand lawnmower, so he can go around town making it a better place. If he made money at it, it would be nice too. But he can not stand idle while these people terrorize the town so he has to jump into action. "Serving justice one shell at a time." That is the tag line on the box and it is correct.

The movie is based on a trailer that won the South by Southwest Grindhouse trailer contest put on by Robert Rodriguez. Remember those trailers? Werewolf Women of the SS, Machete, Thanksgiving, or Thankskilling, I cannot remember, and Don't. That was where I heard of the movie. I never saw the trailer, but when I heard the name and heard Rutger Hauer was in it I figured I was in.

The movie is an exploitation film. There is no doubt about that. The color is saturated at the beginning, and then by the end everything is dark, messy, and covered in blood. There were some ridiculous parts, of course. What Drake does to his own brother is strange, there is a scene where topless girls are using a dude as a pinata, and there are these characters called The Plague, which I would watch a movie just on these guys.

Movie was bad. But, that is ok because I wanted it to be. Violence for violence's sake. The only reason why this movie was made was so there was a movie called Hobo with a Shotgun.

3 out of 5.

Bad Santa

Billie Bob Thorton plays a degenerate Santa who steal from the malls after the season. He does a good job doing that.

Felt like the swearing was excessive, (WHAT?!?! I know right?) The little fat kid in the movie is great.

John Ritter is in this movie, and I believe it is one, if not the last thing he did before he died. Funny guy. Bernie Mac and him had a lot of scenes together, so it was weird thinking that both these dudes are dead.

Fun movie. Not great. But not Bad, as the title suggests. 3 of 5